William quotes...

I was tucking William in last night. Getting him to bed can be such a pain sometimes. So last night I just lay in bed with him until he fell asleep. Before he did, we had the following conversation:

William: (stretching arms out) Can we hug each other while we sleep?
Me: (how can I say no to that) Sure. (big hug) It's too bad we have to get up early tomorrow so you can go to daycare and I can go to the office.
William: You're just picking on me about daycare.
Me: No. I'm teasing you. You aren't going to daycare and I'm not going to the office. And you wouldn't even be in daycare anymore, you'd be in kindergarten. But we do kindergarten at the kitchen table. How cool is that? What a blessing!
William: That's the bestest blessing I ever had!

Then this morning, as usual, his mouth woke up before his brain. Yesterday he'd been playing with his chess set and he lost one of the black pawns. The first words out of his mouth as he stumbled into the livingroom this morning were:

William: I'm gonna see if that tricky pawn is back in it's box. That tricky pawn that was missing.
Me: You think it crawled back in the box?
William: I think it grew legs and walked away yesterday and crawled back in the box while we were sleeping.

If IQ stood for Imagination Quotient, he'd be off the charts. :)

I had a tiny epiphany this evening. We had just finished having delicious grilled bacon cheeseburgers. The boys were giggling in the bedroom where they have created a castle with all kinds of secret passageways out of some boxes. Crystal and Jonathan were talking smack to each other at the the iMac. I was playing some David Lanz on the piano. And the thought occurred to me that with everything that's going on, I really need to enjoy these moments. The simple pleasures of life. Family, music, good food. How many of our brethren tonight are eating fast food and spending their Sabbath in a hotel, hoping that they'll have a house to go back to next week? How much longer before there isn't enough food, and we can't feel safe in our own houses? It's very exciting, and yet very sobering to see how prophecy is speeding up. All of my life I've heard of what is to come, but I guess I got kind of numb to the reality of it. We're not in the tribulation yet, but every day more of the pieces of the puzzle fall into place. I really need to redeem the time--to prepare for Christ's return, to finish the Work, to raise a Godly son and just to enjoy the abundant life that God has blessed me with.

Dueling bloggers...

Crystal is currently trying to blog (on her new iMac, big whoopdedoo), but is being slowed down by spell-checking which I skip. So I'm typing furiously...because I'm inherently competitive. And here's a contest. Of course she doesn't know we're racing, so it's not really fair. But competitiveness isn't about fairness, now is it?

My favorite recent quotes:

William: Mom, I saw Copper's pee-pee system. (Copper's got a bit of a problem keeping his plumbing where it belongs. Crystal says this means he's happy. Go figure.)

Me: William, do you need to ask Jarek to slice your buns off? That's not very nice, is it?

Me: What do you guys play with the legos?
William: You are so stinky and selfish!
Jarek: And then we hit them with a toy.
William: Then we beat them up.
Crystal: Can we really hit girls?
Jarek: No. Just lego girls.
Both boys: Let's go beat the girls up. (something tells me I shouldn't be laughing at this....)

Drat...Crystal beat me.

I guess I can stop now then.

Warning: Long, boring post ahead.

In keeping with the title of my blog, I should probably give some news from time to time. The thing about news is that it's really about perceptions. And perceptions are about emotions and reactions and how I really feel and all that good stuff I try my best to keep from public view. Not that this blog is that publicly viewed (hi Crystal and Jonathan). But still...I tried keeping a diary-type blog in which to vent and say what I really feel in the honest belief that no one else could see it, but I didn't actually set it up right, and Jonathan and Crystal enjoyed it immensely, but I felt really bad. I mean, I named names and wrote all the things that were in my head but really shouldn't have been...and then put it on a blog (yeah...I'm a genius). While I admire Charles' ability to completely bare his soul on his blog, however infrequently, I'm afraid of the repercussions of saying what I really think about people...you know...on the off chance that someone cares. That said...

My life's been no bed of roses for the past 5 years or so. Being a single parent is no fun. I discovered that, contrary to what it may have seemed like when I was in college, there are much worse things than being single and having no prospect of changing that. For example, being in a bad marriage....much worse. And raising a kid on your own is no picnic. My family is so helpful, that's true, but when it all comes down to it, it's on me. The absolute worst thing is not being able to be there for him. I'm so thankful for my mom and my sister and the times that they've kept him while I work. But I also hate that, during those times, they have been the "mommy" figure in his life, and I've been more of a daddy. Having a wonderful, loving, imaginative little boy, and then only getting to spend 3 hrs a day with him...and spending those 3 hrs feeding him breakfast, getting him dressed, feeding him dinner, bathing him and putting him to bed...is torture. So I've kind of felt like I've been in the twilight zone for several years. I went from having my whole future out in front of me and having a plan for my life, to just basically surviving from day to day. And living with my family, which basically makes me feel like a loser. And having no idea what to do next and how to fix the whole mess.

And that's why I'm so excited right now. I'm still living with family, but I have HOPE of maybe actually someday being an adult...having a house, and a car and taking care of my son without impersonating a sponge. Basically the biggest news in the life of me and William is that we are so happy and thankful right now. I'm working from home and homeschooling and getting to spend so much time with William! He's such a cool kid (ok...so he also has some infuriatingly annoying habits) and it's a huge blessing not to drop him off with anyone. I'm actually the one raising him right now...not a daycare, not my sister, not my mother...I love it. So does William. :P I don't actually have full-time work at this point, but having been fully unemployed before, being partially employed is not so bad. I still have to sponge, but I can also buy new underwear without borrowing money. And there are prospects. For the first time since William and I struck out on our own, I can see how I could make a living from home. When I found out we were moving from Charlotte, I made the determination that I was going to be a mommy first and a breadwinner second. And I'm leaving the breadwinning in God's hands. I'm asking him to provide me with a way to provide for William and myself from home. And I believe that He will.

Newsflash--Right now, life is GOOD!

Michelle says:
I'm chanting silently to myself "OpenOffice is not the devil, OpenOffice is not the devil"
Michelle says:
but it's not working
Michelle says:
how do I change the font color
Michelle says:
it suddenly decided that I should type in maroon
cbelle says:
lol
cbelle says:
maybe you should
Michelle says:
and now it won't let me go back to black
cbelle says:
open office is not the devil
Michelle says:
I see the button that in NORMAL word processors provides you with a pallet to choose from
Michelle says:
but in this one (the devil word processor, that is) it only provides you with the means to make other random chunks of your text a hideous color
cbelle saysa:
well- mine is on the Tool Bar
cbelle says:
well- there's got to be a way to put it up on your tool bar, too
cbelle says:
i'll look around
Michelle says:
I have the A on my tool bar
Michelle says:
but when I click on it it says "Font Color"
Michelle says:
and that's it
cbelle says:
?
cbelle says:
do you have an old version or something?
Michelle says:
it doesn't give me colors to choose from
Michelle says:
I would hope not, since I only downloaded it last week
cbelle says:
oh
cbelle says:
click on it & kinda drag down at the same time
Michelle says:
great
Michelle says:
now I turned it blue
cbelle says:
click on the arrow right beside it
cbelle says:
and drag down a hair
Michelle says:
ok...the draggy thing worked
cbelle says:
good
cbelle says:
anything else?
Michelle says:
yes
Michelle says:
one more thing
Michelle says:
Open Office is the devil
cbelle says:
NO IT'S NOT
Michelle says:
good and evil mixed you know...it's free, but it sucks
cbelle says:
you just don't like it b/c it looks different
Michelle says:
no...I don't like it b/c it doesn't do what I want it to do
Michelle says:
for example...it keeps bulleting everything
cbelle says:
you have to be SMARTER than the program
Michelle says:
and it won't stop
Michelle says:
see...that's the thing
Michelle says:
I don't want to be smarter than the program...I want it to be smarter than me so I don't have work so hard.
Michelle says:
If I wanted to be smarter than the program, I'd use a typewriter.

Computers...modern miracle or mental health menace? You decide.

So, I bought a nice new laptop with my tax return this year in hopes of someday using it to make a living from home. Now that I'm actually in the position of making a living from home using said laptop...it's NOT WORKING!!! Well, it's mostly working. The wireless internet part of it isn't working. Which means I'm on a leash in this little front room, while all the fun exciting things are happening in the back of the house.



I guess I should be thankful that at least my monitor is working, which is more than Jonathan can say. And I can still work...which is good. So basically I'm just being a big baby. But really, is it too much to ask that a $2000 piece of technology be fully functional for longer than 6 months after the date of purchase???

End of whine.