Oh the drama!

This conversation took place in the car just now. I lost my patience with William's incessant talk about getting a spotted tree monitor for a pet. I don't even know what it is, but it's a reptile...how good of a pet can it be?

Me: William! Please, babe. Give me a break with the monitor talk!
William: I've only been interested in monitors for a short time now. (Yes, my 7-yr old actually talks like this. I'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing.)
Me: Yes, but you've been talking about them non-stop for that entire short time. I don't really know anything about monitors, and I don't even like reptiles that much.
William: Because they're ugly looking??
Me: Yeah, that, and they're not very nice.

At this point I glance over at William and his face is turned away from me and he's crying. Feel free to roll your eyes along with me.

William: *whips his head back around, full of righteous indignation* And they're habitat is being destroyed, Mom! You don't have to be so grumpy!

Oh brother! Such drama from a 7 year old! Can't wait to hit those teen years.

I'm officially excited about the Daisy 5K on Sunday. I feel pretty confident that barring catastrophic injury I'll be able to break 40 minutes. I know, I know...the land speed records are in danger. And William is actually, after oooooh....three months of extensive brainwashing, getting excited-ish about the Kids' K portion of the day. I think he'll be really excited when he gets his finishers' medal.

I feel like I've used a disproportionate amount of apostrophes in this post. Which reminds me of this lovely little grammar tidbit I happened upon today while trying to explain dropped quotes to my mom. I especially like the bit about the bird poop.

So yeah...this is me trying to give CPR to my blog. I like the idea of a blog, but don't feel comfortable talking about anything of substance here anymore. So I guess that leaves running fluff and bird poop.

Rainy Days and Mondays

The green van is having problems. Sabbath before last the transmission went out as I was driving home from church. Then this morning I finally got to go pick it up, supposedly fixed, and it didn’t make it 10 miles down the road before it died again. Not the same kind of dead, but dead all the same. Even more dead, in fact. Before, it would at least, with much complaining, move at 20 miles an hour or so, but now it won’t move at all. The dying happened in the middle of a severe thunderstorm, and so suddenly that I didn’t actually make it all the way off of the road. Kind of scary to be partly on I-35 with the traffic whizzing by and the visibility about zero.

In other news, I’m not moving yet. I’ve signed up for 8 more months here. I’m happy.

OK...I've been allowing Crystal to blog the running sagas, but I have to do a blog happy dance here today because I just ran 4 miles!! I know this is not that important to most of the world, but I'm super excited. Sure, I stopped and walked a couple times, but 4 miles!! In 59 minutes. I know...turtles go faster...but still. No knee pain. No cardiac or respiratory arrest and neither of my legs fell off or cramped. So yippee! Of course I'm going to be really really sore tomorrow, I'm sure. But I'm still on that lovely endorphin high right now. :)

EDITED to add that William is the best cheerleader ever. I said, "William, I just ran 4 miles. Can you believe that? Pretty good right?" And he enthusiastically responded, "Not just good. AWESOME!!" :) That's my boy.

Creative Expression by William

Prompt: Suppose you owned an unusual pet. What would it be? What would you do with it? Ten sentences.

The oddest pet anyone has ever owned would be a bull shark. And the most strangest pet in the world would be a bull fish. They have horns. And the strangest pet in the world would be a big eared rabbit. The biggest pet I would get would be a bull shark, and they are cool. And you would have to feed it ten fish every day. And you would have to build an aquarium in your house. I would look at it. I would put it in the bathtub. I'd play with it--like dance with it.

The End

This conversation is brought to you by Captain Literal...

This week we did some early deleavening in the kitchen cabinets because the pest guy came to spray all the apartments in our building. We had to empty the cabinets and wipe them down (sounds like deleavening to me) and then we're not supposed to wipe them down afterward for six months! Does this sound gross to anyone else besides me? I just might have to violate that little injunction. Anyway...William and I had this conversation while putting everything back in the cabinets.

William: Why do we have so many pepper shakers?
Me: People have given them to us.
William: Why?
Me: I guess they're a fairly typical housewarming gift.
William: Pepper warms up your house??

My kid cracks me up.

On the way home from Church tonight William decided we should tell jokes:

Me: Um. Let me think of a joke. Ok. Knock knock.
William: Who's there?
Me: Banana.

(insert several bananas from me and increasingly exasperated banana whos from William)

Me: Knock knock.
William: (heavy sigh) Who's there?
Me: Orange.
William: Orange who?
Me: Orange you glad I didn't say banana.
William: (giggling) Okay. You can come in. (Makes an unlocking and opening the door sound.) My turn. What did the mackerel say to the salmon?
Me: I don't know.
William: Hey, salmon.

When I realized that was his punchline, it cracked me up. Which was unfortunate, because it encouraged him to make up three more jokes: "What did the mackerel say to the mackerel?" "What did the other mackerel say to the other mackerel?" "And what did the mackerel say to all the mackerels?" all with punchlines involving "Hey" and "mackerel." Goofy kid.

Cool field trip.

William and I took a field trip to the San Antonio Zoo today. It's a pretty cool zoo. I was actually surprised. William was sooooo excited when he found out there were rhinos there. Black rhinos even! There was much jumping. :)

Actually, the rhino exhibit ended up being really cool. You could get pretty close to them and I got some good pics. And! we got there just at the right time. The keeper was feeding them and letting them out of their stables, and you could tell she was tickled by William's high-volume enthusiasm. When she got done with her work, she came over to us and asked if we had any questions. She told us about each of the four rhinos they have and was just really nice. William almost exploded. :)

I got quite a few pics before my camera died. Stupid battery. It only lasts like 1 hour now before dying. Unfortunately, my williambear.net picture site is no more. I'm going to transfer all of that over to smbryce.com at some point, but that point is distant in the future. So for the time being, I'll probably just post pics on photobucket or some other such free online place-a-ma-bob.

As soon as we got home, William went to his desk and started drawing a picture of his zoo. That kid is animal crazy! :)

An Explanation by William

How to cook eggs:

1. Get the box of eggs out of the refrigerator.
2. Open the egg box and get some eggs out. Usually I like two.
3. Put the eggs you got out inside a pan with milk and water inside. I think?
4. And then crack the eggs.
5. And then pull them in half above the pan.
6. Then turn on the oven and put the pan on.
7. Then you eat it and enjoy it.

A Description by William

Assignment: Describe your house in eight sentences. (This is part of William's Language Arts curriculum. He is supposed to dictate to me, and I'd rather type than write.)

My house is on the third floor of our apartment. My house is very messy, but my favorite toy is very, very easy to find. I have an elephant and a bear--well, I barely play with any of them. My house has a back porch. In the playroom we're going to make a castle--well, at least sometime. There's five lights in the playroom. My front hallway is a little bit sandy. My bathroom almost always has a light off.

You Are Cookie Monster

Misunderstood as a primal monster, you're a true hedonist with a huge sweet tooth. You are usually feeling: Hungry. Cookies are preferred, but you'll eat anything if cookies aren't around. You are famous for: Your slightly crazy eyes and unusual way of speaking How you live your life: In the moment. "Me want COOKIE!"

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

I'm not sure that Cookie Monster would edit the spelling errors in a blogthings personality quiz (It originally said "usual way of speaking" and "life your life")...but hey...who am I to argue with science. Besides...I do have slightly crazy eyes and an unusual way of speaking. Not to mention the whole cookie thing. Chocolate chip if you please.

Captain Literal strikes again!

William: Mom, this is annoying me. Everyone says lions are the king of the jungle, but they don't LIVE in the jungle. They live in the SAVANNA. And ELEPHANTS are the king of the savanna, because they're the BIGGEST. It DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!

(Those of you who have talked with William will understand the use of caps. My kid doesn't know the meaning of monotone.)

I'm at war.

I am under vicious attack by a mosquito. In my house. In December. This is wrong on so many levels. Where's my flyswatter?

Update: I win.

I thought about doing one of those map thingies that so many people are doing these days, but...decided against it. I know I should post something, and it's just easier to blather than to do cool graphics. Maybe some other more motivated day.

My life is very boring. It's hard to blog about. Well, it's either boring, or I don't feel comfortable talking about it in detail to an unknown public. I've been rather surprised lately by people who've come here. I really thought I was a fairly unknown, unvisited little corner of the internet but I guess there's no such thing. Soo....I blog a lot about William. Kid anecdotes are almost always acceptable, at least in small doses. With that in mind...a recent William funny:

The scene: Garage, Papa and Grammy's house, Jarek and William screaming and flailing at each other. Jonathan and I separate them and take them to different parts of the house for interrogation.

Me: What's going on out here?
William: (incoherent hysteria)
Me: Calm down. Start at the beginning. What were you doing before you and Jarek started fighting?
William: I was playing wacko with the red hamper on my head running around on the bed.
Me: Ok. What was Jarek doing?
William: He wasn't playing with me at that time.
Me: So how did the fight start?
William: Jarek tackled me on the bed and hit me with the belt and I said "Ouch! That hurt!" and told him to stop but he wouldn't stop. (hysteria creeping back in) And then I said he had to stop because it was my belt, so I was the boss of it and he said I wasn't! (full-blown hysteria achieved)
Me: Calm down. Ok. So what did you do when Jarek wouldn't stop?
William: I bonked him on the head.
Me: With what?
William: With my fist. Then he bonked me back, but he did it harder. I hit him like this (demonstrates) and he hit me like this (demonstrates) and it hurt worser.
Me: Ok. Calm down. So then what did you do?
William: I tried to hit him again, but I kept missing! (said with deep sorrow and hilarious demonstration of him missing his own head) Then I accidentally kicked him in the head because he was laying down, but I didn't mean to get my foot up there.

At this point, I cut straight to the sober exhortation to never hit and come tell a grown-up if there's a problem...blah blah blah...because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to contain my laughter if his explanation continued any longer. The funniest thing is how soon he cools down. He forgives Jarek almost instantly almost every time they fight. He holds a grudge against Crystal or Jonathan for spanking him longer than he does again Jarek for the offense that only moments ago had him in hysterics. I wonder if I kept my parents constantly on the verge of laughter the way this little stinker does me.

I've been enjoying reading various Feast blogs. Seems like everyone had a good Feast, but really...how do you have a bad Feast? I haven't blogged about the Feast yet. It was a good Feast, but not especially blog-worthy. The highlight for me was family. The "lowlight" was injuring my previously good knee. Big bummer. Oh and how could I forget highlight #2--no visitations for an entire month! Yippee! Then we had one yesterday, and I think everyone is getting bored with them. Really. Yesterday's was cut short by the person formerly known as William's dad because William kept saying he wanted to go home.

Post Feast, I'm putting structured homeschool on hold while we work on some attitude and discipline issues (William's not mine) and I work extra hours. I'm interested it what anyone who reads this did to entertain yourselves when you were kids? Also, what kind of chores did you do? I'm trying to come up with structured activities that William can do while I work and also ways that he can help out more around the house. Working from home is easier than working in the office, but it's still quite the balancing act, especially when I add in being the only parent and a homeschooling mom. So we're taking this week to re-establish our balance.

A little bit of this, a little bit of that...

It's been an interesting couple of weeks. William seems to have hit another "growth spurt" academically. We've been finishing up homeschool in record time -- 2 to 2 1/2 hrs. His spelling and writing are coming a lot easier, which was our main time consumer. But his math has taken off too. He finished 4 days worth in 15 minutes one day last week!! So we'll be buying some new math supplies soon most likely. He claimed boredom more than once last week, so we're forging ahead as fast as he's willing to go.

I'm still loving Sonlight Core K, but ready to move on to a more structured study of history because that's William's favorite topic. So we're forging ahead there too. Shirlene is finishing up some "new to us" stuff that hopefully we'll be able to start in January. I may be a little prejudiced, but I think my family is the best.

His reading is coming along great. He's becoming a more willing and enthusiastic reader too, even reading on his own time without prompting from me 2 or 3 times last week. This is rare. He'd rather be read to, or watch the history channel and try to build everything he sees with his legos. His current passion is the American Revolution, but I must say I am sick to death of the sounds of battle. He's too young to get what fighting really is, but I'm not. So I've put a moratorium on all playing or watching of anything having to do with fighting. My little lawyer has required me to tag on several addendums to that ("No fighting means no battles or forts or soldiers. Not even retired ones.") because he's in constant search of a loophole. If his math skills ever catch up with his loophole finding, I'll start letting him do the taxes.

I have plans to purchase a piano. But we know what happens to the best laid plans of mice and single moms, and this one hasn't happened yet.

The best part of the past couple of weeks has been William's sunny disposition. He's been at his cheerfullest and most obliging. I don't know why he's suddenly decided to be positive, but I'm loving and reinforcing it. He even didn't whine when I announced the "no fighting" rule! Anyone who knows him, knows this is amazing. There have been "moments," but more of them have been of the sweet and positive variety than the pull my hair out kind. My favorite moment from last week was when I was cuddling him at bedtime one night. I love the fact that at six, he still loves cuddles! I've been know to answer his whining about school with an explanation that "Everything I do is for you." Homeschool is the best option for him right now, and I try to open his eyes to appreciate that as a single mom, I'm making some sacrifices to provide this option to him, with God's help. It's been months since we've had this discussion though. Well, we're cuddling and he comes out with, "You remember how you told me everything you do is for me. That's true. And it's really nice. You're the best mommy in the whole universe." That makes it all worth it, doesn't it?

Coincidence? I think not.

After a particularly crummy day, this is the passage my Bible Study led me to tonight:

So he answered, “Do not fear, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them.” And Elisha prayed, and said, “LORD, I pray, open his eyes that he may see.” Then the LORD opened the eyes of the young man, and he saw. And behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.

It's nice to know.

Bleh...

I just got off the phone...the phone call I've dreaded. The one setting up William's first visitation.

For Sunday.

Bleh.

Last night I had the strangest dream...

I dreamed that Crystal and my mom and I were shopping at the Feast in some mall kind of set up. Crystal and I keep going into this antique book store. The owner is this really nice old lady. We aren't really shopping, just waiting for mom to finish whatever she's doing, but I find this book. I thought it was by a guy from the American Revolution, but according to the owner it is from the crusades. It has all these little bits of stuff pressed in the pages, like gloves and hair and papers. So I'm really interested in it, and ask the lady how much it costs and she says $1400. Then she says "I think you better get a higher-paying job before you buy this one." And I say "Yeah, I think it'll be awhile before I can afford my interest in antique books." So I close it up and walk away and I'm trying to find where it was on the shelf. When I turn around, Crystal's handing me the book. She bought it for me. So I hug the owner and tell her thank you. Then as we're heading out the door, I ask Crystal why she bought it. She says, "I don't know. She kind of made me." I was thinking how I was going to get it on the plane with all the odd bits tucked away in it when I woke up.

Strange. Not quite as strange as the time I dreamed I missed the ice cream at Passover because I left the service to look for a piano bench because I was supposed to play special music....but still strange.

I think I've found a motivation to give up chocolate...

This.

As devoted as I'm sure Mr. Garcia is to his personal hygiene, I'm concerned that the article doesn't mention whether the contents of the vat of chocolate, which were at one time in his hair, ears and mouth, among other places, were thrown out or not.

Chocolate...I'm going to miss you.